sunscreen, by shemar x Child Actor

sunscreen

by shemar x Child Actor

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1.	skytrain! skytrain! 02:37	lyrics	buy track
old land changes lively names to passcode // hand holds, relay scams for ransom // shemar meaning “everlasting blue flame // head on, tame the devil!” // torch cut through metal retainers like dotted lines // becca loves the skytrain // bits of subconscious pile onto the ark’s spine // bent, searching my grandfather’s porch for magic // the bones these blank chairs are channeling praise for // the eyes returning his empty stares // black mass in perpetual prayer // trusting the impasse, i hear escapade // man, becca loves the skytrain // time told on roulette wheel // swan songs habitual // escape loops spun like christmas carols // my features ask questions rhetorical // drip fed disappointed suicide notes // your survival cause for deep breaths // i dug water bottles through ore // shadowing ma’s grave // anything to avoid family matters, unspoken immortal // pencils raised higher during 8:50 d.e.a.r // innocence punished when creation reserved for myth // whitey only tale all ends in subjugation // extras feign death, lingering by will of their anklets // not left forgotten, aglets to those important // ‘cause becca loves the skytrain // and egda starts by staring past me, into me // intimate // tell me what i’ve been doing // tell me what i’ve been doing for real // what the fuck have I been doing //
2.	ants under magnification ft burnin' macaw, baegull, & gwenn 03:06	lyrics	buy track
it ain’t the heat // it’s the dust, red // ritual made from sweat // fire ants’ dirt swept // by young black forces // shameful stance // couldn’t call this place home // though built from ground, oppositional // the architect of these smile lines // but who protects who? // texts from the stretcher saying “don’t be scared” // my ex mutes theory-crafting hoodoo // ion feel safe anywhere // jazz hands pigeon-toed shrink into doorway casing // fatigue engraved deep in my face // my utopia more than aesthetic // anger radiates shallow strength // my response to voids filled with obtuse ways // swallowing wistfuls, stalking woes // as they recoil from my body a means instead of “ends-well” // ion know if I’m mourning right if that’s all to be done // Days rot and nights pass Highway stars pump more than just gas Its the cycles again Round and round its the cycles again Its diamonds under anthills With teeth so rotten it look like grills Celestial waiter wheres my bill?? Whatchu mean the water cost extra? Whatchu mean theres a secret fee? The dirt in the wounds deep in my face Harden my faith And thats between you and me Whatchu mean it cost more, The less I can afford? Whatchu mean, waiter? Tell me waiter whatchu mean This restaurant full of shit Dine and dash habitual A dime a dozen A guaranteed find at the corner store Bodega full of God wisdom Quarter waters and mini wars Dont beef with the ock Dont beef with the spot Dont believe whatchu see at the restaurant up the block These deserts were once oasis Redline gilded cage made it hot The waters is due back thats on God its no sleep til brooklyn, u think im picking up the phone u trippin sniper shots at big ben we time splittin, u out to lunch we gone fishin all systems go, lost in the world, ignore the small font u fuck boys too slow like sonic taunt, ankle weights doing u no good whatchu thought it was // got no resolve, take a look at whatchu brought n cállete white karen saying namaste, ur girl downward dog while u fiendin for a break no room to hesitate, fetal position rockin to n fro throw in the towel, thief in the night catch u w ur pants down, now we all got smth to laugh about couldn't put words to it, felt compelled to be more fluent couldn't stand to be you niggas, could there be more to it? (i doubt it) the consequences are all hellscape above the head, one handed how my belt raised, in the thick of things i never felt safe, thick as thieves i perceived reckless intent so i weave pigmeat mark-redundant judge and jury of your own demise meanwhile i live baroque in life upholding family ties sade been told y'all you not the man dawg take a stand dawg, if you can! free em shackled in the land is the plan! we seek demand!
3.	expensive piss 01:53	lyrics	buy track
no lunch money, just starving // oscillate on a bloated stomach // God won’t pardon me, i ain’t suffering enough in chainmail // wrapped in a dour clutch // karma curtain call // my bed direct my feet to blake // oppose knee to prayer // role-play presence, listening wall-fly // really just waiting my turn // stench so tender it glistens // don’t stare at the son, baby, walk on by // park bench scarecrow corner lincoln and sutter // tree bark arms consumed bare // praise the sounds of supposed lovers // teeth gnawing // they dead thought i was j cole, freeforms // i rode the saxophone fluent // over blues like jesus sole // i owe uber a home // breading broken man // i put my petty hand // on rolling snare against my ribcage // i ain’t supposed to be here // all these poems i’d write, every attempt // steal the world from your steps // imposing perception onto these moments quiet as kept // complacent under acceptance // flimsy habits from my mouth // where two streams meet expensive piss // every dollar for my health // geared towards vitamins //
4.	sunscreen ft Jay Cinema 02:05	lyrics	buy track
Cold world, you know niggas need summer Feel my attitude going under Mad hungry for some brighter days Well aware I need to change my ways Fell in love with isolation Me myself and I keep the spliffs in rotation Need some uplifting, I can’t take it Too many trials and the tribulations Wondering, how I fell in these situations Roach clips for minor stimulation Life really is a simulation Somebody press the skip button please I got a lot of wants and less needs Really I’m just searching for some ease Watch the sun disappear and the moon come Staying balanced til’ my time done Been a loner every since I was young I should probably open up for once Cause my only friend is the weed up in my lungs Can’t forget about the words coming out of my tongue Cold world you know niggas need summer cold world, weather machine broke // 4 am, full thunderstorms below the heaven’s choke // at my closest banished to balcony // 5’9 calcium ark // dancing in rain, dry and intricate // hoping history refrains how fat clamps my ivory tower // i ain’t proud // how my instincts count calories // just to fall forth from food chains like martyrs // stewed slow and epic // gilgamesh lays enkidu to rest, wrestling flower beds // there’s no eternal youth // you just die quicker, thinking // beauty absolute as grand gesture // born from a lineage of mothers not forced to forget their maiden names // my fresh fade stands me straight, reluctant // against the ivy crawling down my face //
5.	essex st. (footprints) 01:48	lyrics	buy track
ion art for cash for gold doubloons // spoiled nickels, it takes two // tangos towards notoriety // played stupid games as a child // still fall for nostalgic // carried torch // grace don’t think i can distinguish secrets // flame and north pole ambidextrous lit fireplace // cozy toes under mint slippers // sip the chocolate while it’s warm // born from the spark I birthed // it’s all the sun in symmetric rhythm // peace a privilege not a desire // everyone’s deserving // ever present even as I’m unsure // there’s nothing behind me but paranoia // watching galaxies morph into they proper distance from sheepshead bay // handful of almonds crushed when they claimed // clamored high rise shadows with molding eyes // traffic bustling echoes timeless as tomorrow, but // (there’s a reason behind all we do) // (there’s a moment behind // i was doing more than filling a void // killing time, monochrome roads //
6.	rem sleep 02:36	lyrics	buy track
punching inwards, my ernie fist // i hook stitches // punching out a glass joe, hella fragile // i just roll with the punches // (shattered!) // punching inwards, my grover fist // i hook stitches // punching out a glass joe, hella fragile // i just roll with the punches // visceral dreams // mix the dark noise with the light // prefix a cold sweat, empty weight // my pillow seams sulking, sunk in // echolocate sun moving under eyelids coast to coast from margins // through blood to lines of code // my poems fight for my humanity while i’m gone // return three millennia forwards // as wage theft // strip-searched like leers lustful // still collecting checks from haitian brothers // still a friend per month for every half year link up // i feel separations along language barriers // i feel seen! //
7.	(BONUS) affirmation ii ft demare'a 02:32	lyrics	buy track
was never futile though fell to same small end // i’ll be your villain when the pedestal meets the flanger bend // deconstructed // into smeared bridges // only the fire next time left // spread my ashes across ocean’s toe // urn made from locs with no hang time, you don’t even know me // if you think anger leaves me with any more than falsetto grin at wake of post nut clarity // intuition seeps in slowly // it was as good as needs convincing like my smile // christmas, nights after i found my present pile in front closet // closing // chapter, there should be paragraphs for // i wore oyster pearl fabrics to a dead man’s wedding i shoulda worn standards // stanzas pile into preface a twenty volume suicide note // each night // i count the stars and get the same number // and when they will not come to be counted i collect their holes // i reject building manifestos towards false prophets // (i monarch .i gold.) [dance, nigga dance] fold into my selfishness crumbling papers i know no exits most of my language muddled hardly a showman no harm in stasis today no thoughts for auction i sipped my grand niggas lost me in this pocket how the gauntlet never fit my hand bliss stuck to my garments staining my coughs minute of fame more entertaining when you watch when you watch spit in my palms nice like you visiting i'll make your night name a price when you watch it's competition and i'm locked buy my shit or mind your business no skin in mine mind in my way caught in my gaze you gon take the matzas if you paid or not i'll make you watch

about

protection from harsh realities as i travel.

peace to all those i called upon for strength, through reverence / reference. peace to all who offer strength to me regardless.

credits

released February 2, 2024

Album art by Big Flowers
Written by shemar (unless otherwise noted)
Produced and Mixed by Child Actor
Mastered by MJC @ Last Epoch Productions

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shemar Brooklyn, New York

meaning love.

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