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as i become collage​.​.​.

by shemar x kiluhmanjaro

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1.
shamwow 01:57
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recoup my own sane asynchronous // maintain same love even thru distance // skin made of footprints, no metronome to follow // abide my own laws, left as ya words rang hollow // unalien to loss. grew inside catharsis when the tension first gone // fester poems like flame, manifestos // embedded name and marrow // i ain't supposed to be here // heart safe from security. peace i choose // whatifisms 'fore i sleep // constant state of dreaming better tomorrow // freedom's a fluid fixture // two fours scale a broken mirror. my reflection praxis // when the labels outweigh they descriptors // schematics incomplete without practice // was taught to paint bigger pictures // born martyrs only glorious match is overcoming authors // ain't talking effectiveness when i'm talking artist intent! // scorched earth, euro step tombstones effortless // my greatest strength genuineness // my inheritance
2.
marshem 02:14
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guilt like the man in the wall, useda write it down // give beyond feeble my medium denial // dance easy still // steel sharpens steel, stone piles // fill my head, stubbornness // name myself after martian from meteorites driftin // aimless, when they don't matter // prayers sculpt skies like fireworks perpendicular // passion pyrokinetic // call and response aesthetic // used to love her she useda love me too // used to love her you useda love me too // ricochet off old stances // lost innocence fuel vibrance // vision field tinted // pixilate hillsides, eclipses // my shield new indents // rap with my grinning left grippin horizons // spirit gravitational pull, gave all the goodwill i've received // and pushed full way thru // like cube in the right square hole // pen entourage of hell and underground railroad // as i become collage... // abstract bare soul // throw my body unstable to destiny echolocation // chose excavation over knowing // enable writing eclectic spare parts in my recreation // what's left feels incohesive as i need // hands toolkits incoherent // more suited for optimistic than adhesion // my magnetic energy meditation always chosen // agency impatient these petals weren't stolen // plucking, plucking, watch the garden rot off old stances // lost innocence fuel vibrance // vision field tinted // pixilate hillsides, eclipses // my shield new indents //
3.
shem ft burnin' macaw + gwenn 02:49
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There's always a worse way to live Seen it on corners of 125th The underground above sewage level Stewards dressed in dapper dan and flooded wrists Hitting pull ups on scaffolds Its the only way to lift But check your hands Rusted cuts, cigarette butts Encrusted sin Flip a coin between my fears and faith Keep my pace steady break ground and shift the plates Pre destiny more words to say gilded cage I check my hands again, scars never left the page Let it bleed, seethe, and writhe Let me mix it with the paint Adorn my streets with culture and let it cultivate Blood pump, pulse, pulse Block party with fire hydrants I saw rainbows today I saw gold today hit heaven, hit grace // walk the mezzanine between my niggas and faith // they keep me sane, uncomplacent // innocent impatient // pace myself according to stasis, rest i rap from one take restart off wayward mistakes // all my hesitation stay! // soundscape rhythm brought by waves // became missingno touching the shoreline // no forethought to glitches, tryna break the bank beat the fucking system, no riches // useda pay for lust in peace // live in the future just to perceive past when shit get bleak // anti-pyramid scheme // bad penny outta grief, i wish you well // i do my duty as enlisted by self tutelage, poor enrichment broad pickings lose sight, we all victims awe-stricken i was sitting masquerading like i wasn't me always kept a q or up to keep me company fuck with me, couldn't do it at your best had to get it off my chest last trip and hit you with a suplex like taz get to cutting up like victor zsasz in the past, main organ on my fleece used to speak death sink or swim, i opted not to breathe yet i can promise you i seen stress when your mother miss her mother you just hoping she can grieve less rest assured the shit was sobering don't pester me, i'm getting over it
4.
shamrock! 01:52
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keira <3 lucrative soapbox defeat the purpose, dead culture // whites scapegoat the ocean // watch my eyes fade, 3rd person // water bearer, summon kaleidoscope storms for the doldrums // wind curtains, function override form // all my blues reflect departure // tribed with burnin' macaw, name and nature // smothered in healing ash, suffering withdrawals // by force of nurture walked you home // sapphire hands translucent // picking grass whistles off tomkins asphalt // found a fitting end wondering if you were even there // no hard feelings, honestly the memories is scarce // the clarity mixed in artifact // autumn inspects a loose lash // cross examine causality // inshallah the universities between us un-impasse // fresh starts feelin like borrowed hourglass // watch the j curve fulton street mournfully // been natural way before the locs freed // fork in the road i chose good // cried after distro // when community the utensil // nobody used // hearts meant to be open // protection never allured me! //
5.
mar-mar ft miles cooke [prod. shemar] 02:33
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tell myself i'm enough // crossfade who you think i am with liberation // this the sound of waking up from a man's pieces // picking up my ambition like dreams theses // legs strangled to the whim of my needs // to be even in silence and feel completely sane // if time's a cyclical exchange my internal sense perfect ying-yang // marriage of dual names // all the self left infused into lands carthaged shoulder pain // my ocean hues morph into unpardoned chaos bars // compound identity unforced // honesty's a kind chore still choose niceness despite scars // had to remind cesar he got a big heart // we all need it sometimes // smiles stunted by wise decisions // neutrality's a position i could never exist in // wear my emotions sleeveless like siegfried // bare skin // and the distribution never been the fairest the only one so foolish with the errands the adulation been useless tip my hat to the sickest sense of humor a glimpse of winter in her every movement to you i say good riddance walk with my face down as penance eyes wide open but i'm distant sink or swim no difference i rock the tints in magenta make s'mores when i burn bridges harnessed living with the discontent i thank god she don't believe me cold water lather rinse repeating i never knew a day i'd call easy ain't shit fair but i'm laissez been there done that lost days she's still elusive like certainty off prayer that jesus piece won't save you
6.
shimmer 01:11
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too big for the both of us // changed the focal point // when shit get serious // you would laugh i was turning into luminescence // middle of a black hole // eyeing up a storm // ceased hurrying canes // as peace begun to form // war of attrition alone with thoughts // kept thorough tongue sturdy // gutter words survey situations // before divulging towards emotion // we was living much longer than we felt worthy //
7.
(BONUS) cathedral pkwy ft money for water [prod. shemar] 01:52
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reaffirm my personage learning from mistakes i've made // inner vigil more than yearly how we useda yearn christmas day // 110th cathedral parkway, hung thoughts dance gallows of blind faith // if there's a will there's a chance // cutting onions with my tongue recent nostalgic like taste of pomegranate // kept the promises 'cause they're promises // love's an easy manage // ion negotiate space no more, my heart empathetic to panic // anxious skism shot in the dark // used to comment death to dead stars // row and column constellations // consolidate journeys into hesitance // dangling seconds before my hoping soul cleansed // tabula rasa paint the town red // private affairs public business // my apologies written in the ways i knew you'd listen // forgiveness! // how im grown n don't know how to love my brothers n sisters without going against some sort of entity i hate it lost blood over a ocean blood lust n overindulgence the enemy n i know it at a loss for everything projecting strength in quick one offs we express the same pain so how can i relate n not know what to say i hate it i pay attention to what they want me to see whats in my gut what they constructed what they want for my dreams i couldn't escape em in the day tryna recover my peace something symbolic bout how the sample repeat something important bout prayin more than than i eat something horrid in forming molded by this evil i know its bigger than me its up to us cause nothing of this empire clean or even subtle

about

a birthday offering. the sound of waking up from a man's pieces...

peace to all those i called upon for strength, through reverence / reference. peace to all who offer strength to me regardless.

soundcloud.com/user-269352245/as-i-become-collage

credits

released January 21, 2023

Written by shemar (unless otherwise noted)
Produced by kiluhmanjaro (unless otherwise noted)
Mixed and Mastered by C Money Burns @ Cosmic Black

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shemar Brooklyn, New York

meaning love.

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